A Glossary of Canadian Terms and Phrases

As a gawking new immigrant fresh off the boat, your first few months in Canada are bound to be full of wide-eyed excitement, bewilderment and surprises over so many new things. As you come to grips with the nitty-gritties of your new life, there are so many new terms and phrases which may confuse and befuddle your-preferred-sweet-deity out of you.

Although the government-funded free glossy immigrant magazines that you pick up regularly at traffic signals will surely provide you with a quick laugh, there’s only so much entertainment you need as a newcomer, right? After all, you’re here to make a living, not jokes!

You need more pertinent info! You have pressing questions! What does this mean? What do they mean by that? So many things you don’t know!

So look no further and worry not, dear fellow landed immigrant. Your intrepid blogger at CanadaImmigrantBlog is hard at work making it all make sense for you!

A growing glossary of Canadian Terms and Phrases

Foreign Trained Professional

An unworthy individual with sub-standard skills from an unpronounceable third-world city who was trained too much in global financial market analysis but fails to meet the standards for Canadian Cats and Dog Walkers Society.

International Experience

Canadian fast-food industry’s entry level qualification which is equivalent to 15 years of upper management experience from a non-North-American tinpot country somewhere east of the Atlantic.

Professional Credentials and Degrees

Fine pieces of thick, fancy paper with gold lettered name and educational/professional expertise printed in curly fonts. Not worth recycling or donating. Good for origami or lining kitchen drawers.

Public Transit

Soon to be made history by well-fed mayors and over-paid employees, Canadian public transit is an expensive and luxurious mode of transportation for communist, socialist pinkos, car-deprived middle class snobs, and those randomly and casually failed by Ontario driving licence examiner.

Tim Hortons

A genuinely Canadian organization offering lucrative “on location” cushy jobs with excellent perks and benefits for newly arrived immigrants and exceptionally talented newcomers.

Job Interview

A carefully choreographed and performed one-act play written by William Shakespeare’s Canadian descendants. Occasionally contains a second act.

CV / Resume / Bio-Data

A document listing a Canadian resident’s various punishable crimes and misdemeanours with details of experience serving time at correctional facilities.

Canadian Experience

Period of time from the moment of emergence of a newborn from mother’s womb within Canada’s geographic borders and duly witnessed and recorded by a qualified maternity professional under Canadian laws. No other requirements.

Also check out Bart’s brilliant definitions below (comment 5)!

If you need or have any more definitions on any Canadian term and phrase or part of speech, drop in a comment!